"V for Vino"
V is the 22nd letter of the alphabet. This letter is for V. This letter is for you.
I have wanted to write this a while ago when your name was on my heart and your face in my head. Who knows what has happened since? Now I do, but I did not then.
What we had, even short, was memorable and sweet. I could never forget the conversation we used to have almost every night and the chat we used to have every morning and every night before we went to sleep. Each moment is something to remember. Our togetherness only lasted less than a month, and then we suddenly left each other. Even I didn't know why, I knew it was the best for both of us. Distance is one thing we can never bear. It is never easy for me to live a relationship without being able to hold hands with the one I love.
Distance requires more trust and affection; it's not that I can't do such relationship, it's just that I can never stand missing someone so much without knowing what to do but relying on communication devices.
For me, relationship needs physical communication. That's why I didn't think I could make it with you, because I knew I would only end up exhausting for not hugging, holding and kissing you.
Somehow you walked your way into my heart and I was not sure how. I did not want to change you so I never told you how I really felt, even if it was your decision to make. I did not get my heart, and I did not get how it missed you either. It made me uncomfortable. I wanted to share my heart with you and be inside yours. I was willing to let you into mine. You should know that it was not a game for me even
though now I am just a friend, and I see you do the same. You should know that it was not a game for me, I meant every word I said, so I hope that you did too. You could be the one that just what I needed or everything I didn't at all. As much as I cared about you, I wouldn't wait forever. So you should know, it's not a game, I do still care and I'm glad having you as a friend now.
Before today, maybe I simply wanted to hear that you cared about me, to hear that there was a potential for 'us'. Today, I only want to hear that you are my friend, to know that we can always get close like friends do, because you were, you have been, you are and you will be something for me. You are my V. Today, V is not only a letter for me. V is Virtuous; V is Vivacious. V is for Valentine. V is Vino.
February 3, 2012
V for Vino -- from "A Delusional Denial"