19 January 2012

To A Formerly-Torn-Inside Selebtweet: Kita Tahu Rasanya


Sedikit bingung mau mulai menulis dari mana dan bagaimana, bahkan awalnya juga ragu, ketika akhirnya gue memutuskan untuk menulis surat ini buat lo, the one and only, si selebtweet pemegang Mahkota Drama Queen #GembritAwards2011 : @omemdisini. Kenapa Omem? Selebtweet? Iya, bahkan setelah deactivate account, lo masih selebtweet. Followers lo emang 3 digit, tapi influential. Kenapa Omem? Kesamaan nasib, mungkin. Nasib? Nasib apaan? Ya gak jauh-jauh dari urusan drama, drama dengan alur “move on, letting go, hidup terus berjalan”. Cheesy, yes, but human. Drama apaan sih? Well, of course it’s improper for me to tell everyone about the ups and downs from a complicated story line about you here. All I can say is, we share the same story. Same script, different casts.

Eym, how are you anyway? Masihkah berkutat dengan pertentangan antara hati dan akal? Kalau masih, ya santai aja. Jalanin deh, take your time. What good is moving on if your common sense stays still? It might sound cliche, but yes, time is still the best remedy. It heals the wound but it can’t do anything with the scar that left. Don’t be bothered too much by “moving on” thingy. After all, moving on is nothing but a conceptual state of mind. The feeling, the pain, and the loss will never really leave. Jadi, kenapa mesti bersusah payah merangkak?

Eym, semua memang udah lewat, gak ada guna berharap yang enggak-enggak. Gue juga bukan mau mengungkit yang udah berlalu kok, cuma ingin berbagi cerita aja. Seperti obrolan kita dulu-dulu, sampai larut malam, mencoba saling membesarkan hati dengan cerita yang berputar di situ-situ saja. You know eym, you can’t blame people for losing feeling. If they lose it, they lose it. It’s not hard to understand. It does not mean they found someone else nor does it mean they cheated on you. They can’t just wake up one day and have a thought in their head saying ” I’m not going to like them anymore.”. You have to learn that people change and feelings change. But if you want to blame them for something, blame them for not trying. If the spark isn’t there anymore, there’s only a few options you could do, find the spark again or leave it as it is. After all, that’s just one person. You have your whole life ahead of you. You’ll eventually find a person that will stick around with you, there actually might be someone who is, you just have to try. Why bother on waiting for a has-been?

Eym, I’m not saying it’s easy, no I’m not. People should learn that when they look inside a broken heart, they will see the struggle it takes to get through all the crap in our life, all the lies, the bullshit and the times we wished we didn’t exist. But most of all, they should see how hard it was to let go of the assholes who acted like they actually cared.

Eym, not only us but a lot of people are a little damaged. Only some of us hide it better than others, but on some level we are all torn up. We take it out on others and beat through life with it, and then next thing we know, we’ll end up damaging someone else. Right, Eym? By the way, gue sok tau ya? Iya gue sok tau, kenapa gue bisa sok tau? Because I’ve been going through the same pain. Yes, I’m one of those people. Gue tau rasanya dikhianati, gue tau rasanya sakit disia-siakan, gue tau rasanya bengong di tengah keramaian hanya karena tiba-tiba teringat dia. Gue tau rasanya sakit mengorek-ngorek alasan, merangkak mencari tau kenapa dan apa yang salah. Gue tau rasanya marah, sedih, datar, bertanya-tanya, cari-cari kesalahan. I’ve been through it all. And so have you. Kita tau rasanya.

Eym, I feel like writing too much now. Let’s just end this letter before I can’t stop myself from bringing us out of the topic. And by the way, sorry for not sharing some advices nor solution. What advice anyway? It’s no use taking lesson from someone who shares the same experience as yours, nothing’s new, because you know how it feels. Oh ya, Eym, senang bisa berteman. It feels nice to know somewhere far out there, I have a friend to share this silly and boring drama with. See you soon, Eym.

January 17, 2012 ― Denny Ed

PS: You’ll never fall in love the same way. But, you will fall in love again :))

ditulis oleh @dennyed untuk @omemdisini


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